To be father and son and alcohol
by MyLittleFangirlWorld
Summary: Cut-out part from my old ROTBTD story centering around Hiccup and Stoick, because why not? Some info in A/N. Rated K plus, post HTTYD.


**A/N:**

 **IMPORTANT!  
OKAY PLEASE READ A/N TO UNDERSTAND THE STORY!**

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 **Alright, this piece is a part I cut out from the first story I ever wrote which isn't here on ff.n because it sucks, hehe... But here is a very angsty part from it... The story is about the big four with elemental powers, Hiccup having earth. They have just saved the city from a great threat and this is what happens to Hic after the battle in his POV.**

My dad don't say anything during the ride we got with a police car home, but he has his arm wrapped around me which makes me smile despite everything. I couldn't remember last time he showed me affection like this. Probably like three years ago.

The driver sends me glances in the back-mirror pretty often, a mixture of confuse, awe and concern.

But I don't mind him. My dad is practically hugging me. I can still smell the alcohol around him but it is much less than I'm used to. After all these years of him abusing me I don't know how to react with him suddenly being sincere. But if he's ready to try I know I want to too.

Our relationship is broken, but it wasn't always. I curse myself for getting my hopes up but I can't help it.

Before I know it we have arrived at our completely dark house. My dad thanks the driver and takes my hand. He isn't exactly gently, but I shake it of that he's just strong. The driver nods with a small smile before disappearing from view. I sigh in relief of being home but suddenly my dad grabs my wrist instead and forcefully drags me inside of the house. I give a yelp of surprise and before I know it the door is slammed shut and I get a meaty fist to my face, almost immediately making my nose bleed. I cry out in pain but before I can register what is going on my dad punches and kicks me over and over. I scream out but they are cut short as the next waves of pain arrives. I try to form words, begging him to stop but I can't catch my breath.

Eventually he does stop though. But only to lift me up by my jacket and wheezing in my ear.

"You foolish child. Have you any idea of how much trouble you've caused me?" The most frightening part is that he asks it completely calm, looking down at me with nearly glowing eyes.

He drops me and I collapse to the ground with a small _thunk_.

I know he doesn't want an answer but I mumble either way that I'm sorry. That earns me another kick. Of course.

My tears are flowing freely making my vision blur. At least I hope it's the tears, if I pass out now, who knows what he'll do.

As he continues to ramble on, I don't really listen anymore. But then the awful words that I've heard to many times comes once again. "It's YOUR fault she's dead! If you weren't born then Valka would live! YOU KILLED HER!"

My head snap up as a sudden realization hits me.

"No, it is NOT," I answer and he almost stumbles back in surprise. Before I can change my mind I stand to my definitively not impressive height and stare into his eyes. With my hands and mind I make the ground rise around us, cracking up the floor tiles surrounding us with sharp pillars, thorns climbing up them as I start to scream at the man in front of me. "How the f`*ck do you get that cancer being my fault?! I get it, your wife died, but she was my mom and it wasn't exactly easy for me either! Especially not when I lost you soon after that! Don't you get that!"

Seconds silence.

"You're a freak. A COMLETE MONSTER!" My dad whispers and then yells. He slowly backs up opening the door behind him.

Turning in the doorway and staring at me, eyes full of hatred although the pain that never seems to leave the irises shine through.

"I never wanted you. I DON'T WANT YOU," he says clearly, emphasizing each letter as I feel my heart leaping up in my throat, just before it completely breaks at his next words; "You're a monster. Your not my son."

As he slams the door shut my knees suddenly give out and I fall to the floor, feeling overwhelmingly hurt, lonely, broken and completely empty at the same time as the power around me evens out and disappears, leaving me in the rubble.

I stay that way until about twenty minutes later my head shot up as a knock on the door echo through the house. With my knees still shaking from my breakdown I walk down the stairs and to the front door, but not before seeing a glance at myself in the hall mirror. I truly looked horrible with paler face then usual, new bruises, red eyes and tear stains I try to wipe away quickly.

For probably the first time I don't want to see my friends. Or more likely, I don't want any of them to see me like this. And I can't find the strength anywhere to speak to a reporter or police officer. But I am most afraid to see my dad even though I know he wouldn't knock.

But who I see certainly surprise me and I feel the same stabbing pain in my heart again.

Snotlout.

"Hi baby cousin!" He greets as if the last years of him bullying me hasn't ever happened. He's all dirty and wet though he still has a grin.

"That was so awesome what you guys did, it was like...!" Snotlout starts before he falters and continues much less ecclesiastically. "Hic, are you alright?"

I feel how my eyes starts to water up once again. No, I'm NOT alright.

My dad just disowned me and now I guess the only family members I have left is Snotlout and his parents, none of which has ever cared for me. And now he's at the doorstep asking if I'm alright?

"Please leave," I whisper without answering his question. This is all an act. It all is. Just like my father but this time I'm not falling for it.

Snotlout looks hurt and I feel a pang of guilt mixed with all my feelings of sadness and betrayal.

But soon he shakes his head. "I just want to thank you for saving my life and..." I cut him of by closing the door. I know I am being rude but honestly I couldn't bring myself to care. Because whatever reason Snotlout had, being curios or wanting popularity I couldn't handle being used that way anymore this day. As soon as it is closed I slowly slide down with my back against it breathing heavily and not fighting as I know by now it's useless to try and hold the tears at bay.

When my eyes finally does not have any more liquid left I slowly rise from the cold stone floor.

I need to leave. I was disowned and if I am still here by the time he comes back... I shudder without finishing that thought. And there could possibly be more people showing up at the doorstep anyway, I wasn't really in the state to face anyone right now.

I took a pretty small and worn out satchel from the hanger. In it I put my phone, charger and a blanket, together with what few clothes I could find.

I search through the kitchen after any kind of food and soon I find two pretty brown apples which I put down together with some water.

I stumble upstairs into my small room again and go through my drawer. At the top of it, securely embedded in a old shoe box I take up a photo. It is old and bleached but it still means so much to me. After my mothers death Dad burned the photos including her but I managed to save this one. And for that I am truly thankful.

I also bring my overfilled leather notebook.

I look down at my bag. _I'll be okay with this,_ I reassure myself before taking a deep breath.

I rip out what blankest page I can find in it and write although my hand is shaking.

 _I'm so sorry._

After I put the short note on my bed. And I truly am sorry. Sorry for my dad having to bare with me after all he's been through. If I wasn't such a mistake he wouldn't hit me, maybe he wouldn't even drink! As I leave my room and then my house I hope quietly to myself that he will stop now that I'm finally gone.

I find myself slowly walking towards the end of town, being careful to avoid people as they may recognize me from earlier events. I really hope my friends are doing alright after everything. Especially Rapunzel, why didn't her mother show up? I make a mental note that I need to talk to her as soon as I have calmed myself down. No need to worry her about mines if she's got her own problems, right?

After a long time of walking I pull my thin jacket closer to myself. I see a closed down shop in front of me, completely lifeless and empty.

As I sit on a bench in front of it I look at the photo of a beautiful middle age woman with reddish and brown hair. She smiles warmly with no sign whatsoever of the cancer that will way to soon take her life.

She's holding hands with a buff man, not a single gray strand in his hair and no loss in his features.

The other arm she has wrapped around a small boy, both males also smiling.

Three sets of sparkling green eyes stare back at me. But none of those shine anymore, those who are still left are dull and filled with pain.

I take one last look at the smiling boy, safe and happy knowing he has a family. Somehow there is no way for me to believe that the healthy boy is actually me.

Well, at least it was.

As a tear drops down and shines on the photo I press my flats against my eyelids. No, I don't want to cry anymore. I'm sick of crying, just as sick as I am of bottling all of my emotions up.

But I can't cry here, not when someone could see me.

Then I stare out at the empty streets one thought never leaving my head:

Where can I go now?

 **A/N: Review. Do it. Just... Do it. Mwahaha.**

 **Bye! :D**


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